Because I consider myself, sort of, existing in a liminal space vocationally, I sometimes feel free and unbounded. I am overtaken by the desire to explore knowledge as I encounter it, not for some purpose but simply for the taking. I could act on this impulse concretely when I worked at the public library. While shelving or shelf reading, I’d indulge myself by checking out books on any subject. My inner narrative egged me on: Why not read a history of Marco Polo’s travels and his impact on history? What’s stopping you from reading an entire book about sound? I would check out books to read in my “vicarious free time” absent a vocation. I have all the time in the world, right?
But the piles of books just kept growing, left unread. If I wanted to learn everything absent the one important body of things, is the endeavor a waste of time? If the knowledge I’m gaining is for no purpose other than a filler, then is it really worthy of pursuit? In most cases, no.
In a couple of week’s (hopefully), I’ll have a clearer sense of where I should focus my vocational efforts for next school year. Will I be a Media Clerk? Will I be a teacher? Will I remain a stellar substitute? I will continue to be a copy editor. I will continue writing.